It seems like such a simple word. For me, the word "boundaries" has been life changing.
I am a co-dependent. I'm not sure when this started, but I realized how sick I had become about nine months ago. I was convinced that I could fix everyone in my life (don't attempt to do this) and I knew how to solve their problems (again, don't do this). I took personal offense when people in my life were suffering. I was miserable to say the least.
Codependent: (n.) a person with an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support due to an illness or addiction.
My therapist has been working really hard on helping me accept people in my life just as they are. When she first suggested this, I gave her a firm "NO". I couldn't imagine a life where I could accept people as they were. Then, slowly, over time, God worked his magic in my life and helped me see how much stress and havoc this was causing in my life.
I am still a recovering co-dependent. I'm guessing this is something I will always be working on. If you have someone in your life that is in addiction or struggling in some way, you may feel the same way. I'm still learning about how to set boundaries and I'm still catching myself slipping. But, I'm also giving myself some grace and realizing that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Melody Beattie is a best selling author of many fabulous books, but my favorite so far is "Codependent No More". I highly suggest you grab a copy. I have recommended this book so much recently. In it, Beattie states, "We need to set limits on what we shall do to and for people. We need to set limits on what we will allow people to do to and for us."
Practice setting one boundary this week. I PROMISE this work is life changing!