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Pennies, Tennis & Heaven

Strange combo, right?

Have you ever received a sign from your loved one that has passed?  I have.  Several times.  Usually it is pennies – in the strangest of places.  Sometimes it is a shadow passing by, a smell that reminds me of him, or a butterfly.  Lots of times, it’s a song.  Michael loved music.  He even locks up my 10-key at work and in my home office.  And, of course, there are dreams.  Really strange dreams.

But the penny thing is pretty fantastic.  It happens in the strangest of places, just when I need a hug or a nudge.  I’ve had bad days and walked out of a store to my car and literally kicked a penny, so it jingles as it bounces along the pavement of the parking lot.  I’ve had a penny fall from thin air right in front of me as I watched it and looked to ask a friend close by if she saw it too.  She confirmed with wide eyes and I picked it up to add to my collection of “Mike Pennies”.

I had a penny show up in the back of my car, under the enclosed floor where the spare tire is kept.  I was in awe – I never opened that floor up but that particular day I was searching for the source of an odor.  Yes, an odor.  You see earlier in the week, I had left my house and had a mouse in my car.  I realized something was by my feet and the gas pedal as I was driving.  When I looked down, I saw it.  Ish.  I really dislike mice.  REALLY dislike.  I squealed, but I was already driving 60 mph so I had to keep my cool.  I finished driving into town with my feet not touching the floor – not an easy task.  I caught the mouse later that night and so my vehicle was again safe.  So I thought.  A few days later, this odor came about.  I couldn’t find out where it was coming from.  I opened up the floor and found it.  Water and a mouse nest.  It stunk. . . it stunk horribly.  I had a cooler of ice and water open in the back of my car a few weeks prior and hadn’t thought too much of it.  The water had seeped into the floor compartment and a mouse had made a lovely little nest in there.  And a penny was there.  Seemingly untouched, but it was as if Mike was laughing with me at the craziness of the whole situation.

And just a few nights ago, I played a round of tennis with my boyfriend at the court just across my neighborhood.  It was hot and we had finished up for the night.  We walked over to the side of the court where we had left our racket cases and water.  Two pennies lay there when we returned.  They hadn’t been there before.  I’ve had some pretty amazing ideas the last few weeks and worked especially hard on making a dream a reality over the weekend.  It was almost as if this was Mike’s nudge.  A little bit of “I see what you are doing and I’m proud of you.”  At least that’s what I am going with.

Some people will tell you it isn’t your loved one.  Those pennies were there.  There was a wind that opened that window.  That noise was just the tv.  Its in your head.  You are crazy and you need to move on.

I disagree.  I disagree a whole bunch.

A few months after the mouse-and-penny-in-the-car situation, I had visited a medium.  A medium isn’t for everyone and I only would recommend it if you are open to a new experience.  It was an amazing source of comfort for me.  During that reading, the medium said that Mike is trying to get my attention all the time but that I am brushing it off and not realizing it is him.  She also asked if I found the penny in my car.  That was pretty specific.  She smiled and said he is with you all the time, you just need to be open to seeing and feeling him.

Back in April, I told my story in front of almost 300 people at SAVE’s 27th Annual Suicide Awareness Memorial.  I was nervous.  I can speak to groups of people, that part didn’t scare me much.  I am very open about my brother’s story and have no trouble talking to people about it.  But speaking in front of almost 300 people at once, with all eyes on me, with such a sensitive topic. . . I was scared.  When I had reached the stage that day, I could feel his arm around my shoulder.  Almost as if he was saying, “Let’s go do this, sis.  We’ve got this.”  And we did.  We had it.

That day I realized he is definitely with me every step I take.  He holds me when I need it.  He nudges me when I hesitate.  He’s with me every step.


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